So about a year ago, good friends of ours told us they were expecting a baby in October. We were over the moon for them. That night we toasted and celebrated and wished them all the best in the world. When Mike and I got home late that night, we sat down and had a discussion of our own. The question came up: were we ready for a baby?
We always knew we wanted kids, but that we wanted to enjoy being married first. And we have had a great time being married. We've gone on vacations, bought a house, adopted and house trained a dog. All of these things we did just the two of us, and they were probably easier because we didn't have a third person to worry about. With the time together before we were married, we had been together for 5 years at that point, a pretty great amount of time to just be the two of us. That night, we decided that yes, we were ready to take the next step and start trying for a baby.
From everything I've heard about conceiving children, there's no predicting how long it will take. A whole universe of factors determine when egg meets sperm and develops into a child. I figured, since this was our first rodeo, it would take somewhere between 6-12 months for us to conceive. That was based on no scientific facts, just a combination of first hand experiences I'd heard from other people. Well, wouldn't you color me surprised when after trying for two months, the test showed the two lines? I came down shocked and showed it to Mike. He was, of course, beyond excited. I was still pretty surprised. It would take 3 more pregnancy tests taken over the course of a week to finally convince me that this was real and happening.
The first month I was on another world. Excited, nervous, happy, confused. I didn't know the first thing about having children, or raising them. Plus, every little twinge I felt made me sure that something was wrong. I kept waiting for the other show to drop and for something bad to happen. Not the best way to feel, but the possibility of miscarriage is always present in those early months, and everything seemed too easy. Again, a weird way to feel, but that's the truth of it. I spent the first 3 months of the pregnancy with that little voice in the back of my head saying this was too much of a good thing. Mike, and really amazing midwives, helped to quiet that voice over time.
Telling my parents and Mike's parents was a lot of fun. For my parents, we gave them an ice cream cake with the initial H.A.Y.G. when they came up for their anniversary. They looked at it puzzled until we said, "Happy Anniversary, You're Grandparents!" A beat later there was screaming and hugs and all around happiness. For Mike's parents, we told them the afternoon after his brother's wedding, while we had everyone in one room. Again, lots of excitement, but I was stuck on a couch and couldn't get up, so the hugs had to wait a little after that announcement. Both sets of parents have been incredibly supportive and just showered us with love. We're incredibly lucky.
First trimester "morning" sickness (more like 24hr sickness) faded away almost immediately as the second trimester started. This was when we could start telling our friends and extended family about our excitement. Again, we were met with all happiness and joy and people started sending us gifts, which was pretty amazing. During this time I celebrated my 29th birthday, my last before becoming a mother. I felt physically great, no longer tired or nauseous, and my cute bump was starting to appear. The second trimester is seriously the best. Everyone told me it would be, but until you're out of it, you don't know how good you have it. Haha! I wish I had spent a little more time at that phase traveling and really getting the nursery in order, but cest la vie.
The third trimester arrived and brought the exhaustion back with it. Not as bad as the first trimester, but still enough that I just came home from work and wanted to do nothing more than be on the couch. It didn't help matters that it was around this time that things started getting pretty crazy at work. But I soldiered on and Mike and I went on our Babymoon (a weekend in CT visiting Mohegan Sun and the Mystic Aquarium and staying in a B&B for the first time; another story for another time). We got it in right under the wire too. Things were about to take a turn.
My due date is April 16th. At this point in the pregnancy I'm scheduled to see the midwives every week. Usually pretty routine. They measure my belly, listen to the baby's heartbeat, weigh me, and take my blood pressure. Every appointment has been pretty boring and a 10 minute affair. I should have known I was having it too easy.
Last Wednesday I went in for my appointment, and for the first time in the whole pregnancy, Mike wasn't with me. His conference call had run late and he wasn't going to make it in time. I told him it wouldn't be a problem. It usually took him longer to get to the office than the actual appointment took, so I didn't see this as being an issue. I joked that he was going to miss something big. Well, I was a little correct. While there, my blood pressure was pretty high (a problem I've never had before in my life) and I had gained 10lbs in 2 weeks. Now, I know I haven't been on the best of diets recently, but definitely not enough to gain that much in such a sort amount of time. On top of that, the midwife said my feet looked like Fred Flintstones's, so I was definitely retaining water. When those symptoms combine, you get yourself a trip to the hospital. The midwives were very calm about it, and that helped a lot. I was able to call Mike and have him meet me there. I was even able to drive myself.
At the hospital, they took a urine sample and drew a ton of blood and measured my blood pressure every 15 minutes while I relaxed in a bed. Mike and I hung out, listened to the tv in the room next to us play a Property Brothers marathon, and 5 hours later we received some news. On the positive side, I was being discharged and I was going to spend the night in my own bed. On the negative, there had been protein in my urine and my blood pressure had spiked a few times while there. These are signs of preeclampsia, and that's something they take very seriously. This meant I was being pulled from work a full 3.5 weeks earlier than expected and I was put on modified bed rest.
It was a little jarring to go from working 45 hours a week to suddenly nothing. It also meant I had to set up all of my maternity and disability leave over the phone without any of the information I had saved in my work e-mail. Not the best thing when you're watching your blood pressure, that's for sure. But we got it all settled out. The next day I got to do a 24 hour urine analysis, which pretty much means collecting your pee for 24 hours and keeping it in a jug. It's just as fun as it sounds. Thank goodness I wasn't at work for that one!
Now the big stuff. Today I went to the midwives' office for another checkup. The results were back from the analysis: lots of protein in my urine. Also, blood pressure still high. That means that tonight, at 6, I'm getting checked into the hospital and they're going to start the process of inducing labor. I never had a firm birth plan in mind, because I was always told that the opposite was likely to happen. However, if you had asked me what I was hoping for, I would have said that I wanted things to progress naturally and NOT be induced. So, I guess that one's on me. The universe heard and is presenting me with the opposite scenario. It is what it is, and this is the best thing for the baby and for me. I trust my midwives and I know that this baby is coming when it's supposed to.
I'm definitely excited to meet the baby 3 weeks sooner than I ever expected, but I'm also nervous. I've read articles and books and watched documentaries, and I know that none of these things can prepare me for what I'm about to go through. Let's not even begin to think of the war zone the first few weeks apparently feel like once the baby is home. I can't wait to see what this baby looks like and learn its personality and watch it grow up. It's going to be life changing, and it's all going to happen in a matter of hours. That's just so crazy to me.
I'm lucky that I have Mike in my corner and family that loves me on all sides and friends who are crazy excited for what's about to happen. And the next time I write, it'll be as a different person with different priorities and a different view of the world. I'll see you on the other side!
