Give and Take

So a month by month update of my life should suffice for this blog, right? Ah well.

Last weekend was perfect. We had out rehearsal dinner Saturday night and it was like a teaser of things to come. We had all of these wonderful people in one place, practicing walking in and walking out and they all did it so beautifully. Afterward, we had dinner at Shadows on the Hudson, which is this amazing restaurant right on the Hudson River. The food was delicious and Mike's mom got these gorgeous centerpieces for each table. Mike and I each gave speeches, but mine was better because I stood on a chair and more people laughed (that is how I judge these things).

On Sunday we made our way back to Albany and relaxed before what we knew would be a hectic week. I napped and then got ready to see Florence + The Machine at SPAC. What? You don't know who Florence + The Machine are? Ok, check out this song right now! Then check out this one! And when you're properly in love, we'll chat. It was amazing, and it's up there as one of the best concerts I've ever been to.

As the wedding approaches (less than 8 days, but who's counting?), I've been thinking a lot about what's going to change once I get married. Now I know that things won't transform suddenly once we both say "I do", though I wouldn't mind birds and fireworks to magically appear out of nowhere. These changes will be gradual and far reaching.

When Mike first asked me to marry him, I spent a lot of time thinking about the things I'd be giving up once we got married. I know this doesn't sound very romantic, but hear me out. When I first met Mike two and a half years ago, I was in a point in my life where I didn't know if I believed in marriage. I went into dating him with the idea that what we were starting wouldn't last forever. I was too young, I felt, to be tied down to 1 person and I wanted to be free to come and go as I pleased.

In the beginning of our relationship, I spent a lot of time thinking, "Well, I'm happy now, but eventually we're going to get sick of each other." Then came the summer when my rent went up, and I just couldn't afford to live in a 1 bedroom apartment on my own anymore. Mike, most likely jokingly, offered to let me move in with him and his roommate. They had a third bedroom, and a third housemate with cut the rent down. It was a win/win. At this point, we had been dating for less than 5 months. I'm usually some one who takes my time easing into things and deliberating greatly before making big decisions. That being said, I moved in with Mike without putting too much thought into it.

Our lives melded together pretty easily. This was most likely eased by having Steve as a housemate and buffer. Still, I thought we were getting closer to that time when the other's habits would just get to be too much. Then we road tripped down to Florida. Mike quotes this as the time he knew we could make this thing last long term. We spent literally every waking minute together for 1 week, something I had  never done before in my life. As an only child, I like my alone time. There was no alone time. And you know what? We didn't kill each other. Not even when we drove through tornado destroyed country and had to stay awake for 36 hours. We only actually fought once, and even that was due more to exhaustion than anything else.

Florida was definitely a turning point on our relationship, and I began to think that maybe this thing we had going on didn't have to end. Maybe we could keep it going for a while. Maybe even forever. We began talking about a future together and the things we'd do to support one another. We began to talk about *gasp* babies. What they'd look like and how we'd raise them. We even talked about marriage, but in my head that was like 5 years down the road. Then when Mike proposed, there was really only one answer.

Now that I've diverted enough, let me get back on point. Mike proposed, I said yes, then the doubts crept in. I was only 24 and what about all of those things I was going to do as a fiercely independent woman? What about all of the bad relationships I was going to have and the life changing moment when I would decide to leave everything behind and move to San Francisco? Was I giving up a life of untold wonder and adventure to settle down? Was I letting the feminist in me down by agreeing to be some one's wife?

You think I'm horrible. I felt horrible. Here I'd just had this amazing man ask me to marry him and I was hung up on the idea that I'd never get to do all of these things alone. And there was the word. Alone. It's not something I've ever been afraid of, because being alone has never been lonely for me. I've always been able to entertain myself and as I've gotten older, I've felt more comfortable about venturing out and doing things on my own. But there are drawbacks to doing things alone. You have to bring the groceries up from your car by yourself. You have to sit next to weird strangers at the movie theater because you have no person to buffer you. There's no one to take a picture of you next to the TARDIS at the Doctor Who exhibit.

And it soon became apparent. Agreeing to marry Mike isn't about the things I'm giving up. In any choice you make in life, you're giving things up. The things to focus on were the things I'm gaining. And just like that, the world tilted and my whole viewpoint was altered. Think of all the things I'm gaining by marrying Mike! Some one to laugh at my incredibly corny jokes. Some one to drive all the way to Half Moon with me to get breakfast on random Sunday mornings. Some one to reach those top shelves. Some one to hold me when I cry over something important, and not make too much fun when I cry over something stupid, like a commercial. Some one to have romantic nights out with and lazy days in with. Some one to power through 8 seasons of Supernatural with. Some one to fit every occasion and tell me I'm beautiful, even when I'm anything but. A personal cheering squad to keep me motivated through dark times. And some one I could can about and be all of these things to as well.

Next Friday I'm going to marry the man who has, in his own way, walked his way into my heart and settled down for the long haul. I'm not worried about the life I might be saying good-bye to. I'm excited about the life and adventure I'm going to be embarking on. I'm gaining a husband and friend for life. We're signing a contract on it and everything.

The Many Faces of Shelby H

Well goodness gracious. How is it August 19th already and where the hell did this summer go? This year has seemed to just slip through my fingers and I will look back on 2012 as the 12 months that felt more like 4. But I'm sure the 3 of you reading this are wondering how the summer has gone. Well, to give you a quick recap...actually, let me just direct you to Kristin's blog instead. She did wonderful posts on my SURPRISE bridal shower and my lovely bachelorette weekend. She was also kind enough to leave out the embarrassing details, such as the fact that I had to stop the girls every 5 minutes to tell them how much I loved them all. Sappy much? There was also Ben and Emily's fabulous Cape Cod wedding which included a lawn ceremony, lobster bake reception, a sweet playlist, and a guest list of 30 people. They did things right! And those are my summer highlights.

Baby Shelby

This weekend I was at home and started looking through one of the many boxes of pictures we have. The fact that boxes of pictures are now a thing of the past makes me incredibly sad, but I digress. As I sorted through these pictures, I was struck by how old I felt. And I know that being 25 and saying, "Gosh I feel old," will make a lot of people cringe, but it's the truth. As I sifted through these pictures and memories, I couldn't help but reflect on how my life is changing.

When sweat suits were all the rage

There was the beginning, when I was freaking adorable and helpless. A baby solely relying on the safety of my parents. Then I learned how to use the microwave, and it was all downhill from there. From that moment on, I was doing things myself and my parents didn't have to wake up at the crack of dawn on Saturday mornings.

My awesome Laura Ashley dress

Then came the elementary school years. Moving into a life separate from home and making friends who would come to shape the girl I would grow into. My years in a Catholic school were both rewarding and frustrating. At this point in my life, I'm still pretty sure I would literally do anything a nun told me to do and feel lucky I was asked.

Have you met my son Shelby?

Right before puberty, I reached a point where all of my hair was cut off and people routinely mistook me for a boy. I think that my feminist ideals probably sprung from this time in my life, but at the time, I just got really upset every time some one gave me something blue. I also lost my baby teeth and had hideous teeth grow in their place, right in time for my self awareness to kick in. Awesome.

World traveler with a sweet hat

At 11, my parents sent me to Australia, without them, and I got my first taste of world traveling. I would never look back. I went on the travel to Europe several times, including England and Ireland, the Caribbean, and Canada (but we can't really count that, can we?). Exposure to other countries and cultures would definitely benefit we later in life, especially when getting into battles of wits with small minded jerk-faces.

A jean jacket with jean capris? Of course!
 London fashion

The high school years hit me at full force. I would again cut off all of my hair and lose a ton of weight and still think I was fat. Ahh, to be 16 again. I joined the Drama club and helped maintained a salt water tank and pretty much stayed under the social radar that is teenage existence. I learned to drive and my fight for independence gained steam. I started thinking about life outside of my hometown and stressing over which college I would get into. I also wore lots of screen print t-shirts.

Went stag to my senior prom and it kicked ass!

Parting from friends I thought I couldn't live without, I started a new chapter in college. College consisted of reading classic literature, studying Chemistry until a small hours of the night, and thinking everything that came out of my mouth was incredibly profound (I'm still not sure it wasn't).

And then it was over and life had to being again once more. I moved into my first apartment, got my first cat, and grew to love coffee. I woke up for work each morning, saw college friends when I could, and watched a  lot of Netflix. And life would have continued on in such a manner had I not been at a bar one night showing people pictures of my cat. But that's another story for another time.

Married with a kid, married, engaged

Three of my future bridesmaids

As I looked through all of these pictures and watched my life unfold before me and a psuedo-chronological manner, I was able to glance at the people I once knew. Some I lost touch with due to distance and time, some I chose to leave behind me, and some have passed away and those were the hardest to look at. Some of these people I knew when they were just 6 years old now are married and/or have children of their own. Some are doctors and some are teachers and they're all living lives they never dreamed of when these pictures were taken.

Dramatic Shelby is dramatic

And then there's the people I used to be. The would-be ballerina, the #1 Buffy fan, the actress, the forensic scientist, the crazy cat lady. And I look at the pictures of past me's with just as much nostalgia, because I'll never be able to meet those girls again. Their crushes and causes and wants that all felt so important at the time and captured in these photos are lost to me now. But every once in a while, I can open those boxes of pictures and pull them all out again and remember all the me's that had to live and die in order for the me of the moment to be born. At 25 I consider myself lucky that there have been so many Shelbys. I am constantly evolving and growing into new people.

Photographic evidence of my first zit

I stand now on the end of my current chapter, waiting for the beginning of a new one. The wedding is 6 weeks away. Single Shelby will be gone forever and Shelby H-T will take her place. She's going to have challenges that I can't even imagine at this point in my life and she's going to make mistakes that will shape future me's. I'm nervous and excited and worried and anxious and a whole list of emotions. But I am looking forward to this next incarnation of myself. I think she has a pretty sturdy foundation and a great web of support. Let's just hope she doesn't trip down the aisle and fall flat on her face, because that will be a picture she will have to destroy.

Reach for the stars!

Kicking It Into Gear

So when I created this blog, I said that the plan was to lose 30 pounds. Well, that hasn't been going so well. My self discipline has been terrible. But that all changes this month!


My goal for June is to run every day. And so far it's been going pretty well. About a month ago I signed up for the Freihofer's Run for Women, which is a 5K held here in Albany. Registering (and paying) for races always encourages me to slap on the running shoes and hit the road. I ran this race last year with my friends Kristin, Aprill, and Maritza and it was a blast. Thousands of women gathered just to run. Some are running in teams, some are running for a cause, and some are running because they love it. The feeling of being surrounded by all of these women looking to finish something together is incredible.


This year my friends, for various reasons, were unable to join me, so I ran it alone. While not as enjoyable as last year, I was so glad I ran it again this year. Maybe it's because I stay toward the middle/back with the slower ladies, but there's just such a sense of encouragement. No real competition. Everyone just running toward their own individual goals. And the runner's high that accompanies the experience isn't bad either.


I finished this race is 38:15, which was a little slower than last year, but my only real goal this year was to finish. I took a couple of walking breaks, so I feel really good about my time. Two downsides to the race were a) my Garmin running watch was never able to connect to a satellite, so I never knew exactly how far I had left to go, and b) the rain made the road a little slippery and I almost slipped on a discarded water cup (but I didn't!). Overall a wonderful time. And a special thanks to my cheering squad this year: My mom, Mike, Drew, and Ashley. Knowing there were people waiting for me at the end really helped to push me through. That and the cookies they give you.


Something else I'm doing to get me to that 30lb goal is to start working out my arms. I've been really self conscious about them lately. In my head they're crazy huge, so I'm being proactive to tone them up. Today I started this workout. It felt really good and I'm pretty sure I was working my abs out also, which is an added bonus. I'm know that tomorrow I won't be able to lift my arms above my head, but it'll be a good hurt.


So to all of the ladies and gentlemen out there working their butts off toward a goal, I salute you. Happy summer everyone!

In Which I Use Caca On My Head

It is time for a review, friends. But first, a little background. I have curly hair. Well...wavy hair. Curly on good days, frizzy nothing on bad days. And my hair will do a whole lot in between. In the curly girl world, I have type 2B hair. Up until about 3 years ago, I didn't realize that if I used the right products and coaxed my hair correctly, I could actually get it to look more curly and less frizzy. Consequentially, I have spent most of my life blow drying and straightening my hair. Which is pretty terrible. I also dyed it quite frequently with your standard boxed dyes from the drug store. That's even more terrible.


This brings us to the review at hand. There's a lot of buzz on the curly girl web circuit about henna. It's a natural way of dying your hair that's not exactly permanent, but also a lot healthier for your hair than your traditional boxed dye. I had used henna once before that I purchased at the Honest Weight Food Co-op and liked the results. I didn't feel the dryness I had seen with other hair dyes nor the hair loss that could also occur. This time I decided to try a different brand.


My friend Aprill told me about Lush's henna called Caca Rouge Mama, and the 5 year old in me laughed. Caca? Really? But Lush has never let me down before, so who was I to squabble with their choice in name? Where the henna I had used before was a powder, this comes in blocks and is packed full of good things like cocoa butter and lemon juice, things that my hair loves. I didn't take a picture of the bar itself, but the box it came in looked like this:

Adorable.

Because I am so thorough, I decided to take a few pictures of the actual process. Let's start with a before picture: 

(Keep in mind, this was one of many before pictures. Most ended up being just of my eyebrows.)

As you can see, I have longish, thickish hair. That color is not my natural color. I'm naturally a brunette, but Aprill insists she'll no longer be my friend if I'm not a redhead, so I am caught in the vicious cycle of dying.

The directions say to use 3-4 of the 6 squares for longer hair. I decided to use all 6 squares, because I didn't want to worry about running out. Also, if I only had 2 squares left over at the end, they wouldn't be much help in the future.

You're supposed to put the the squares in very hot water and let them seep until you can mix them up. Some people suggest hammering the pieces in a bag first so they break up and are more easily dissolved. I decided to do this at 11pm and didn't want to wake my neighbors, so I just broke pieces off in my hands and put them in the bowl. Then I put very hot water into the bowl, and this is where the panicking began. 

The key in everything I read is that the hotter the water, the better the henna will be absorbed into your hair. After adding the water, it looked like I had added to much water, and I didn't keep in mind the fact that as the blocks dissolved, the consistency would become thicker. All I kept thinking was, "I need to get this mixed up NOW before it cools down!" So without letting it fully seep, I began stirring and crushing the mixture, praying that I wouldn't end up with soupy henna. This is what the end product looked like:

Yum.

As you can see, it was very lumpy, and this would come to hinder me later in the process.

Everything you read about the application always has a big warning that states MESSY! And the warning is not an exaggeration. Do not do this on a rug or surface that you care dearly about, as you will ruin it. I chose to do this in the bathtub. If I do this again, I will line the bathtub with newspaper, as I can just throw away the mess in the end. As it is, I had to scrub my bathtub at 1am to make sure nothing became stained. Every girl's dream Friday night.

I digress. Lush gives you gloves to use, and you need to use them. If not, you'll end up with reddish hands. I applied at the roots of my hair first and made my way out to the tips. As I was scooping up handfuls of the goop, I realized that some of those clumps you saw pictured were still dry in the middle. So I would try to rub them between my fingers and expose them to the moisture. As it was, at points it felt like I was rubbing little sticks into my hair, getting it call tangled up. Not pleasant. After about 30 minutes, though, I finally got all of my hair fully saturated with the henna. I did end up using the entire mixture, too, FYI.

After cleaning myself AND the bathtub up, I had to wrap my hair up. I used about 6 layers of plastic wrap around all of my hair to seal in the juices, and used two shower caps to be extra safe.

Conehead Shelby, reporting for duty. Mike is one lucky man.

So the package says to leave the mixture on for 2-6 hours, and recommends you do this at night so you can sleep on it. Who the heck only sleeps for 6 hours and is able to function appropriately the next morning? Not me. So I decided I'd go to sleep and wake up whenever the heck I wanted to. It's the weekend. I'm entitled.

I slept on a towel just to be careful and the mixture ended up being on my hair for roughly 8 hours. The removal of the henna was almost at difficult. I stood under the water just letting the water trickle through the mud and tried my best to coax the little sticks down the drain. I ended up co-washing my hair with Herbal Essence's Hello Hydration Conditioner twice not only to help remove the henna, but also because my hair was feeling surprisingly dry. All accounts I had read said that the mixture would over-hydrate your hair, but I found the opposite to be true.

I rinsed for about 30 minutes, got out, cleaned the tub (AGAIN), put some Organix Moroccan Oil Curl Defining Cream in, and went about my day. Here are some pictures of the finished product:

I really do love the color. I don't think the pictures do it justice. However, I don't think I'll be using this particular brand again. For starters, the price ($25) is to me unreasonable. Also, for all of the moisturizing elements in the bar, my hair didn't really feel all that hydrated. I guess the real test will be how long the color actually lasts for.


So I'm on the fence. Does anybody know of a good henna I can try next?

Nerdtastic Televion

So I should pretty much have my blogging license revoked. What, they don't have licenses to blog? You mean I can go as long as I want between entries and there's no punishment? Well, awesome!

There's no excuse for the delay between posts other than life has been too boring to write about. Looking at my calendar I see very few dates. There was the plan to visit with my cousins and buy bridesmaid dresses with them, but I am awful and had to cancel, because I had to work. So lame. There was also to plan to go to a surprise party for Meghan, but again, had to work. So so lame. Also, where the heck did April go? Does anybody know? Because I blinked and it was gone and I hadn't done anything for the wedding. Which has led to panicking. But more on that later.

I mentioned in the description of this blog that I would write about my nerdy loves and interests. So in the same vein of Felicia Day's Flog, I am going to list my current 5 favorite nerdy television shows, and why I love them so:

5. Eureka- Eureka is a show on SyFy (of course) that started back in 2006, when I was still in college. It's about a fictional town that houses geniuses and fosters their intelligence. Centering on every-man character Jack Carter, whom is grudgingly made into sheriff of this eccentric township, the show chronicles the mishaps that can occur when you put too many incredibly intelligent people into one small place. I like the show because as fictional as the situations may be, the science behind everything is very up-to-date and fascinating. Because Jack is a layman, though, the science and language are very accessible, as he spends most of the episodes just trying to figure out what the hell everyone around him is talking about. It recently came back from a year long hiatus and is in its last season, which makes me incredibly sad. But all good things must come to an end and I'd rather they end now before they do a story line about screwed up timelines...oh wait...

4. Lost Girl- Another SyFy gem, this one actually has its roots in Canadian television, and I am finding more and more that I like the shows coming down from there (see Blood Ties). Lost Girl focuses on character Bo, who for most of her life didn't realize that she was, in fact, a succubus. Meaning, she is a fae who lives off of human sexual "chi". She discovers that there is a whole underworld of fae beings who align themselves with the Dark and the Light. Bo decides to align herself with neither, though, so she can have fun with everyone. I just started watching this show and am coming up to the end of season 1, where the revelation of who Bo's real mother is is impending. I like the characters a lot, especially human sidekick Kenzie. As some one who has loved the world of faeries since as long as she can remember, it's great to finally see a television show introducing new viewers to the world. Plus, there's a sexy werewolf. That is all.

3. My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic- Ok, before you click out of this tab in disgust, let me explain! Yes, it's a cartoon. And yes, it focuses on talking girl ponies. But this is not the My Little Ponies of the 80's. Creator Lauren Faust was tired of cartoons for girls that were simplistic and in many ways sexist. So she set out to create an empowering cartoon for a new generation of girls AND boys. With a pony for everyone, the plots focus on moral issues that everyone, adults included, can relate to. In one episode, pony Applejack is determined to harvest all of the apple trees on her farm by herself and will not accept help from anypony (this is something they actually say on the show). It's not until she tires herself out to the point of endangering those around here that she finally accepts the help of her pony friends. The moral: don't be a stubborn jackass. I know a lot of people who could use to learn that lesson. Myself included. PLUS, there's a new subculture called Bronies and these are men who also enjoy the show. A little weird? Maybe. But this just goes to show you that this show really can appeal to everyone.

2. The Vampire Diaries- I've lost all of the street cred with you now, haven't I? Well, here goes nothing. The Vampire Diaries (TVD for short) is about high schooler Elena whose parents have just died in a horrible car accident (or was it an accident?). Just as she's moving on with her life, in walk brothers Stefan and Damon. And guess what? They're vampires! And you know what else? Elena is a dead ringer for a woman named Katherine whom the brothers loved back in the Civil War Days, who actually made them into vampires! Ahh! Are you hooked yet? The show revolves around the constant conflict between the two bros (Stefan is good, Damon is bad...or is he? *raised eyebrows*). Both fight for Elena's affections, much like they fought for Katherine's. Don't they know that whole spiel about those who forget history are doomed to repeat it? To be honest, I didn't much like the show when it came out. But recently I caught up on Netflix and have found that the cast of supporting characters really do help to carry it. It's got everything a good vampire show really needs. Vampires, werewolves, witches, reincarnated lost loves. So check it out. And in case you're wondering, I'm team Damon.

1. Doctor Who- I'm going to try to keep this short, because I could honestly fill up pages and pages on why Doctor Who is so wonderful. I'll stick to the facts, though. The show started back in 1963. It went off the air for about 15 years, and then came back in full force. It is about The Doctor, a humanoid alien who travels in a blue police box called the T.A.R.D.I.S. His TARDIS can travel through time and space. Along the way he picks up companions to keep him company during his adventures. He is roughly 900 years old, but his current body looks only to be in his 20's. Oh gosh, this is too hard. I feel ridiculous explaining a show that is pretty much the back bone of the television science fiction genre. It's British, which gives it brownie points. The reason(s) I love it are too numerous. Briefly, though, I have always loved the idea of time travel, Catherine Tate plays the incredible character Donna Noble, and I 100% ship the Doctor/Rose. And if anything in that last sentence confuses you, I suggest you load up Netflix right now, search Doctor Who, click on the episode entitled "Rose" and let your obsession begin.

I should state that this has not been a list of my favorite nerdy shows of all time(!), but instead a list of the shows I'm digging at the moment, with the exception of Doctor Who, which really is up there with the greats. They are not guilty pleasures, as I freely bring them up in my everyday conversations, even when most people look at me blankly.

So check them out if you can. Do any of the shows on the list appeal to you? What are your favorite nerdy shows? Leave me a comment and subscribe if I haven't run you off with my eclectic (bad) tastes.

Edit-I really should give an honorable mention to Once Upon a Time. I forgot about it until I went to post this onto my facebook and saw an ad for it. The show is about fairy tale characters stuck in our world. It features a lot of kick-ass female characters and shows that sometimes we really have to fight for our happily ever afters, and even then happiness is not guaranteed.

I'm Getting Too Old For This S**t

And again I have been remiss in updating this lovely blog. I've been reading lots of other blogs and thinking, "Oooo, I like that. I should blog about that." And then I don't. Just pure laziness on my part.

Let's see. Since last I updated, Mike and I went to visit our friends Meg and Andrew in New Hampshire, along with some of my other college buddies. What I discovered while out there is that I am old. As in Danny Glover, too old for this shit, old. By 11pm I was ready for sleep, and everybody else was ready to start a game of Kings. Now, I'll admit, I've never been a huge party person, but I can remember the days when I would leave to go out at 10:30 or 11 and stay out until 3 or 4 in the morning and be up in time for breakfast at dining hall. Now I'm lucky if I can stay awake past 11 and I'm still exhausted when the alarm goes off in the morning.

Recently Mike and I were listening to the LMFAO album and I said to Mike, "This is a great CD to listen to when you're getting ready to go out." To add insult to recent injury, Mike says to me in response, "Yeah, but we never go out anywhere, so what does it matter?" Burn. Just burn.

On another, slightly unrelated note, Mike and I bought a new car. Like a brand new car. And it's really my car, because it's a stick shift and Mike can't drive stick shift...yet. Here she is:

At first I hated the color. It's called Alien. We test drove her to the dealership's back lot to see the other colors, and the more I drove her, the more I began to like the color. And when I saw the other Souls in their nondescript colors, I began to love her color. And that's how I ended up buying an alien green car. And did I mention that she has a stick shift? Because I am so glad to have a car again with a stick shift.

Fresh on the heels of the car purchase, I made another big-ish purchase. To get into this, I need to rewind slightly. Mike and I were talking about the car and such and I mentioned that the car had a great safety rating and that in about 5 years, when we have kids, this will be something we'll be glad we thought about. And Mike holds up two fingers and says, "Two years." To which my stomach responded with a shocked clench. And what ensued was a bizarre negotiating, much like one would barter to price of deli meats. I threw out a 4.5 years and Mike threw a 2.5 years back at me. And back and forth it went until I think we settled on 3.25...years that is, until we have kids.

So this got me worried. There's so much I want to do before I have children. I want to travel some more and make some crazy childless decisions before my world becomes focused on raising another person. And one of the things I've wanted to do for a really long time is to learn how to play the guitar. So I bought one. And now I'm watching youtube videos to learn how to play it. In the 4 days since I bought it I've already learned 4 chords and I'm concentrating on making those 4 chords sound like an actual song. And that's how we bought a car and a guitar in one weekend.

So dear readers, I leave you with another question: Do you have a bucket list of sorts? I know Kristin does, and she is very good about keeping hers updated. Is it a lifelong bucket list or a list of things to do before something? Like before you're 30 or before you have a baby or before your knees get too arthritic? Have you accomplished anything on the list? Let me know!

What's In A Name?

So total fail on my part. Here I was promising to update once a week, and weeks have gone by with nothing. It's not like I haven't been on my computer. I have. Alas, I've been at a loss as to what to write.

February has been a pretty crazy month so far. In the beginning of the month, Mike and I went on a St. Rose Alumni sponsored bar crawl to celebrate the 2 year anniversary of when we met. Lots of fun and considering we met at an alumni event, it was a fitting way to commemorate it.

Last week my save-the-dates came in. We (I) made ours through magnetStreet and they came out beautifully. I love the idea of magnet save the dates. Two sets of friends that I have did magnets for their weddings, and I still have both on my fridge. It's a great reminder and it makes people look at my face every time to go to get some milk. Score! So after spending far too many hours assembling the envelopes and watching quite a bit of White Collar on Netflix, the majority of them were sent. General consensus has been good. Also, I got to send 3 of the magnets to different countries, which made me feel pretty cool. The woman at the post office wasn't impressed.

Last weekend I went home to go dress shopping with my mom, her best friend Debbie, and Mike's mom for the wedding. At the end of the day, my mom was the only one who bought a dress, but it's so gorgeous that we can't consider the day a bust. Chances are she'll outshine me at the wedding. It's all the bling she'll be wearing. Which brings me to shameless familial advertising:

My mom is now a representative for Premier Designs. They have a lot of really nice jewelry. My mom did her first training show on Sunday and she's off to a great start. Even I bought a few things, and I rarely wear jewelry. So if you're in the market for a gift for some one, or you just want to treat yourself to something nice, let me know, and I'll put you in contact with her.

On a different note, I've been thinking a lot about the big name change that's coming up in September. Shortly after Mike and I became engaged to be married, I decided that I would change my last name to his. It just seemed like the easy thing to do and I wouldn't have to constantly be correcting people if I kept my last name. So I was pretty set in this decision until I looked in the mirror one day and said, "Who the hell is Shelby T? That's a completely different person." Than I started having a mini panic attack. Right there in the bathroom at work. I wasn't ready to stop being Shelby H. And I'm still not.

I know who Shelby H. is. She grew up in a family that's both small and big. She traveled half way across the world and back again. She lived on her own for 2 years and had her own health insurance at the age of 21. She has done things that she's proud of and she's made some mistakes that she's trying to learn from. The person I am right now, on February 22, 2012, is because of the things I've done as Shelby H. and the people I've known and loved as Shelby H. I don't want to give her up without a fight.

But I also know things will change on September 28th. It won't be an instantaneous thing where I wake up and am suddenly a new person. It will be a gradual change. My years married to Mike will shape me and change me in ways that I'm pretty sure will be for the better (fingers crossed!). So ten years from tonight, I know I won't be the same woman that I am right now. And while that's a scary thought, it's also a good thought. Because we all need to change and evolve in order to survive.

So began a long decision making process that I believe I've finally come to the end of. Mike has never insisted that I take his last name, which is one of the reasons I love him. So I know that this decision has been mine. I have decided to hyphenate my name. I will be Shelby H-T. And yes, I will have to constantly correct people. And I know that I will get catalogs mailed to Mrs. Shelby T. But that's ok. Because Shelby H-T will be a combination of who I was, am, and will be. And as sentimental as that sounds, I like the symbolism behind it. I get to keep myself and my family, but also bring Mike and his family into my life, and this is a great way to show the world. All conservative and liberal arguments aside, this works for me. And I'm really excited to find out who Shelby H-T is.

What I'd like to know from you, my friendly readers, is what your view points on the whole name changing thing are. If you're married, what kind of decision process, if any, did you go through? And if you're not married, I'd love to hear what you think on the topic. As it's something I've spent a lot of time thinking about, I'm really interested in hearing what everyone else's thoughts are.

Gratituesday: Kristin

So you might remember me mentioning my BFF Kristin. Maybe once or twice. She does this thing on her blog called Gratituesday. I thought I'd borrow an electronic page from her book and try it out here.

Today's first Gratituesday is dedicated to...Kristin!

Kristin and I met when we were in the same Girl Scout Troop when we were still in middle school. Don't make the mistake of believing we were outdoorsy women. No. Think more "Troop Beverly Hills" and you'll get a pretty accurate impression of how we operated. Nonetheless, it is where we first met and where a lifelong friendship began.

Kristin did an incredibly touching Gratituesday about me back in July here, and it does a much better job of describing the origins and evolution of our friendship than I ever could. So let me, instead, describe the kind of wonderful person Kristin is.

Kristin is one of the smartest people I know. She is, and always has been, involved in a tremendous amount of things. In college she managed to keep up with an intellectual course load and start an open submissions publication called Call and Response, which is still in operation today. She studied at Oxford University for a year and when she graduated, she didn't slow down. Between working and keeping up with a demanding social life, Kristin began teaching poetry and creative writing, for FREE.

When some of us (i.e. me) were moving back into their parents' houses and floundering, Kristin went full steam forward, moved to Brooklyn, and landed a job at a publishing house. Today she's living in Manhattan, getting her MA in Poetry from a top notch university, and successfully keeping her cat, Virginia Woolf, alive. And now I'm jealous seeing it all written out.

I got to see her read her poetry this weekend, and was struck by how the girl I knew when I was 12 years old has grown into this confident, talented woman. She is constantly an inspiration to me to strive for more and to work at what you love. I don't think she ever slows down. She is taking advantage of every opportunity given to her and leading this amazing life for some one as young as us. And she always has time to text with me when stress is getting to me or when I need advice.

I am incredibly proud of her. My best friend, Kristin, is a poet who will one day be teaching creative writing to a whole new generation of writers and will be standing next to me as my Best Woman this September. I only hope everyone is as lucky as I am to meet their best friend so young and to have a role model/sister/teacher/companion all rolled into one.

So thank you Kristin, for being the best BFF a woman could ask for.

APW Book Signing

So I'm down in NYC for the weekend, visiting my BFF Kristin. She told me that the creator of a blog we both love, A Practical Wedding, was having a book signing at the B&N in Park Slope for her new book of the same name, and I just had to come down for it. Her blog features post by women and men trying to survive the wedding planning process in the most sane way they know how to. The articles tackle a lot of the cultural and moral dilemmas that can emerge when planning a wedding, and I have spent many a night laughing and crying over them.

We started the day off by having brunch at Lido in Harlem. I had the french toast and Kristin had the eggs with meatballs and we both took advantage of their bottomless mimosas. At around 12:10pm we walked out a little less sober and made our way to Brooklyn, which took longer than expected. It probably felt even longer than expected as the mimosas began to reach our bladders. We made it, though, and were treated to a wonderful talk by Meg Keene, who was shorter than I expected.

The after party was held at High Dive and we were given tickets for the taco truck out front, drink specials on Yuengling, and gluten free cucpcakes! Saturdays are my cheat day (BTW, I've lost 10lbs so far, so yay!), so I didn't feel bad about any of those calories. On top of some amazing food and drink, I got to speak to some of the most awesome people around. Everyone there was a fan of APW and we all pretty much have the same outlook on weddings. Men and women I've never met before spoke to me like old friends. We were all high on the excitement that maybe we can create weddings that stay true to us, and not play into the "Wedding Industrial Complex".

So now I have some new twitter friends and I'm definitely feeling a lot better about some of the decisions I've made, and will be making in the future. At some point in the near future I'm sure I'll make a whole post ranting about the things I hate about wedding planning, but tonight I'll just say that I'm so glad there's a community of people out there talking about the issues and hopefully outweighing the voices on theknot.com and Bridezillas. Cheers and good night.

A Sad Ghost Of What Once Was

I just wrote this amazing blog post about all of the wonderful wedding things we've done in the past week or so, and it all just got deleted. So I'm going to give a quick recap, as my heart is a little bit broken.

1) We booked our DJ! Yay! We Skyped with John from Music Speaks Volumes, and were totally sold. All of the reviews online give the company 5 out of 5 stars and he was super nice. Downside, the photobooth was booked. But we booked with him anyway, and now my crazy DJ-less wedding nightmares have ended.

2) Aprill and I went out to find a bridesmaid dress we had seen online, and instead settled on something completely different. The Bridal Gallery by Yvonne didn't have the Bari Jay dress we were looking for, but when Aprill tried on a different dress by the same designer, I was blown away. All of the ladies will look gorgeous in it and I think they're all pleased that I've finally come to a decision.

3) Mike and I had our engagement photos taken today by Amy Hedges. She's fantastic. My friend Lisa tipped me off to her work and I am eternally grateful. Amy has taken some beautiful pictures in the Empire State Plaza here in Albany, and I decided that's where I wanted our pictures taken. Unfortunately it was so damn cold outside. We opted for fashion over function and didn't bundle up well enough. She had us in some great poses, but even moving around, we couldn't feel our toes after an hour. Highlight, though, is that we got in some shots with our Harry Potter wands. And we got Mike into a pair of ice skates for the first time in his life. He is truly wonderful.

So I'm sad you all missed out on my witty and creative previous blog post, but there will be time for more of that in the future. I leave you all with a picture that sums up who will be making the rest of my wedding decisions.

Two New Members to the Family

Well, we're 8 days into the new year and already I have updates on all three things mentioned in my introductory post. Let's start with the most exciting news...CATS! Yesterday afternoon my fiance Mike's aunt and uncle dropped off two cats for us to adopt. The cats had previously belonged to their daughter whom could no longer take care of them in her current living situation. So we reaped the benefits!

Above is Saber. He's kind of a lazy butt, but he's a great cuddler. So soft. He looks just like a cat my parents and I had when I was little.

And this darling is Diamond. She's a cutie and very active. When we take the laser pointer out, she goes CRAZY! With her coloring, she blends right into the rug.

Mike, who had never had a cat growing up, was hesitant about adopting one cat, much less two. I had a cat when we met, but my poor kitty passed away in October and hadn't really been a prime example of normalcy. So I think that he was on the fence about them until the first one purred in his arms. And then he was theirs. Now he just needs to learn how to sleep with cats walking all over the bed.

Second piece of exciting news, I lost 3 pounds! It's not much, but I have been ultra vigilant with my protein intake and drinking lots of water. And as my BFF Kristin says, this means I've accomplished 10% of my goal. So yay! I haven't done any exercising yet. I'd love to be able to run, but it's dark in the morning when I get up, and it's dark when I get home, and I just can't seem to drag myself to a gym that will be crowded with new-year-resolutioners, like me. I'll keep on with the dieting and see how far it takes me.

Third piece of news isn't really exciting, but worth mentioning; I went to a wedding show at the hotel we're getting married at. The plan was to go in, sample some food (and wedding cake), speak to some DJ's, and hopefully come out with some idea of what we want. Well, we definitely ate some food. The hotel had a sampling of all the food that will be available at the weddings there (aka ours), so we were able to confirm that there will be some kick-ass food at this shindig. As for the DJ portion, it was a bit overwhelming. A lot of people trying to sell you a lot of things.

We're getting married in September, which apparently is the new August, and everyone is booking up fast. So the pressure is on. I work very well under pressure. Unfortunately I'm also a Class 1 procrastinator, and I had hoped to get the DJ booked two months ago, around the same time that we booked our photographer. I always had an excuse not to. So now is really the time to book some one, but there were just so many people there and it was so loud and I just wanted to crawl into my coat and pretend that we have 13 months until the wedding rather than just under 9. We ended up making a Sykpe appointment with a DJ who includes music, lighting, and a photobooth. We (I) really want a photobooth. But I'm also freaked out about not seeing a these DJ's in actions. What if they play sucky music? What if they talk waaaay too much? What if they don't play our correct wedding song and introduce us as Matthew and Shelia? Ahhh!!! And these are the nightmares I have.

Taking a step back, I do realize that while these are legitimate concerns, they're not the most important things I can worry about. I'm all about online reviews, so I'll do my research and see what the masses have to say. Right now I want to focus on fun stuff, normal life and wedding life alike. I've already had a mini feakout over the guest list (How did a list of 150 end up over 170?), so relaxing seems like a good option. Time for some cat therapy!

I Have a Blog

The year 2012 is going to be a big one for me, so I've decided to blog about it. How so, you ask? Well, I plan on losing about 30 pounds. I will be adopting two cats for the first time in my life. Oh, and I'm getting married. It's really the cats I'm excited about, though.

All kidding aside, I thought having a blog to document this year, and perhaps the years to come, would serve as a great piece of nostalgia later down the road when the cats are old and my marriage is settling comfortably into itself. Apparently I have a knack for run-on sentences, so anyone crazy enough to read this will have to deal with my blatant disregard for the English language.

I think stating my goals for this blog would be a good thing. I don't really know what those goals are, though. I'd like to talk about some wedding stuff. Advice is gladly welcome, on the grounds that I may ignore anything that I don't like or sounds too hard. I'd also like to document how the weight loss is going. I find that when I hold myself accountable to a high power, I tend to get things done. So interwebs, you will be my higher power. Oh, aren't you lucky? And lastly I'd like to post tons of pictures of the cats. You're welcome in advance.

Do I start with a little bit about myself? Who's really reading this, anyway? Well, for starters I'm a girl. Female. Woman. Chick. Whatever floats your boat. I like being a woman. I'm pretty proud to be a woman, considering there weren't too many other options and I didn't really have a choice in the matter. That said, I get angry as a woman and that will most likely come out from time to time. And no, that won't mean that it's "that time of the month".

I'm 25, I live in upstate NY, but have a lot of roots downstate. I came up here for college and never left, which seems to be the same story you hear a lot around these parts. It's not like I always dreamed of living in the paradise that is the Capital Region of NY, but it's not terrible. I met my fiance up here about 2 years ago, so I really have to believe that everything happens for a reason.

I chose the name "The Hungry Nerd" for this blog because at the moment I am incredibly hungry for dinner, but I'm waiting for my fiance to come home from work to make a decision as to what healthy choice we'll be making tonight. We both started dieting at the first of the year to be healthy, but mostly to look smoking hot for the wedding in September. The "nerd" part comes from the fact that I have been a self-acclaimed nerd since I was in high school and I'm pretty proud of that fact. Chances are that there will be times on this blog that I go all fangirl over some obsession or other that is so not considered cool. I'll try to make these raving posts sound intelligent, but they will most likely come out as jumbles of crazy rants and punctuations.

There will be times when this blog will most likely serve as a venting place, a soapbox, a temple of worship to the gods of fandom, an event planner, and services yet to be discovered. I'd really like to keep it up and at the very least, post at least once a week for the next year. That's my short term goal. After that, we'll see where this goes.

Happy reading, you brave, brave souls.